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Thread: Thomaz, the Cursed Hunter

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    Beta Player Sovereign Prince Sheklon's Avatar
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    Thomaz, the Cursed Hunter (Flanker)

    Lore:

    Thomaz used to be a vampire hunter trained by his father ever since his mother was killed by a vampire, which made Thomaz wish for revenge against all those creatures. One day in his vampire hunting, he was caught by a vampiric sect who turned him into one of them himself, one of the things he most hated. After that, Thomaz became a morose man that wander around trying to find a new goal for his life. Usually he wont look for fights, but when he walks into trouble, he has no mercy with anyone who gets in his way.

    Thomaz wears a long black leather robe, has a belt in which he carries some poisons, a crossbow in which his own soul was trapped when he was turned and a steel gauntlet with claws. He has a medium size brown hair, shiny red eyes and a pale skin.

    Stats:

    Name/Title: Thomaz, the Cursed Hunter.
    Health: 2000
    Role: Flank (and maybe Support hybrid)
    Speed: 370

    Abilities:

    [LMB] Haunted Crossbow
    Shoots a blood-sucking bolt that deals 700 damage and steals 20% of it as health. Has 1 ammo and reloads for 1.2 second after every shot.
    - Projectile speed of 650.

    [RMB] Interrupted Coagulation
    Take a poisoned knife off your belt and throw it, dealing 400 damage and crippling your target for 2.5 seconds.
    - 13 seconds cooldown. Takes 0.8s to activate.

    [Q] Bat Wings
    Unfurl your hidden wings for 4 seconds, allowing you to move with more freedom and fall 40% slower. You can hold space to lift upwards.
    - 12 seconds cooldown. Takes 1 second to activate, but you can move during the animation. Can be cancelled earlier.

    [F] Vampiric Thrust
    Involve yourself in a dark-red mist and advance, attacking through enemies with your steel claws, dealing 400 damage to up to 3 enemies hit. You also poison them, applying a 25% slow for 2 seconds.
    - 12 seconds cooldown. Has a range of 45ft.

    [E] Blood Pact
    Launch forward and attack an ally, turning them into a vampire for 5 seconds. The vampire is fully healed up and gets 100% lifesteal on all of its attacks, while also moving 20% faster.
    - Has an activation animation of 1 second during which you and the teammate are immobile.
    - The jump is inspired by Zhin's ultimate.

    Talents:

    Uncommon Friend
    (Blood Pact)
    The maximum health of the victim of the blood pact is increased by 500 for the duration of the ultimate and you heal yourself for 50% of your max health on use.

    Creature of the Night
    (Bat Wings)
    Use your echolocation senses to discover enemies when in bat form, revealing players to you in a 230ft radius. It lasts 1 second longer, but the cooldown is increased by 2 seconds.

    Blood Thirst
    (Interrupted Coagulation)
    Interruped Coagulation has the cooldown decreased by 2s and eliminations on a poisoned target increase all of your healing received by 40% and your speed by 20% for 5 seconds. This effect can happen every 8 seconds.

    Sanguine Strenght
    (Vampiric Thrust)
    Your thrust now heals for 50% of the damage dealt to each enemy and you keep a dark-red aura for 3 seconds after using it, decreasing damage received by 30%.

    Cards:

    Card 1: Increase your health by {50|50}.
    Card 2: Decrease your reload time by {3|3}%.
    Card 3: You receive {6|6}% more healing.
    Card 4: Gain {5|5}% damage reduction while reloading.

    Card 5: Reduce the cooldown of Interrupted Coagulation by {0.5|0.5}s.
    Card 6: Interrupted Coagulation heals you by {70|70} if it hits a target.
    Card 7: Reduce the healing on the target hit by your knife by {10|10}%.
    Card 8: Using Interrupted Coagulation increases your reload speed by {4|4}% for 2s.

    Card 13: Move {5|5}% faster when you have Bat Wings.
    Card 14: While you have Bat Wings, you are healed by {35|10} per second.
    Card 15: Reduce the cooldown of Bat Wings by {0.6|0.6}s.
    Card 16: Activating Bat Wings grants 75% crowd control reduction for {1.5|1.5}s.

    Card 9: Reduce the cooldown of Vampiric Thrust by {0.5|0.5}s.
    Card 10: Vampiric Thrust increases your movement speed by {8|8}% for 1.5s.
    Card 11: Vampiric Thrust can travel {5|5}% further.
    Card 12: Vampiric Thrust slows for {5|5}% more.

    Because who cares about naming things.
    Last edited by Sheklon; 07-22-2018 at 03:37 PM.

  2. #2
    Beta Player Marquess JohnOfAllTrades's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sheklon View Post
    his mother was killed by a vampire, which made Thomaz wish for revenge against all those creatures. One day in his vampire hunting, he was caught by a vampiric sect who turned him into one of them himself, one of the things he most hated.
    It all happened when the Colossal Vampire kicked down the gate and vampires filled the city. Thomaz and his sister had to watch as the Smiling Vampire killed their mother (who was trapped under a beam of their fallen house). Then after he ends up finding out he is a vampire shifter he uses his new power to take on all vampires while constantly screaming about how much he hates vampires.

  3. #3
    Beta Player Baronet Paavis1999's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sheklon View Post
    LMB: Haunted Crossbow
    Shoots a blood-sucking bolt that deals 850 damage and steals 20% of it as health. Has 1 ammo and reloads for 1.1s every shot.
    what is the projectile speed?

    Quote Originally Posted by Sheklon View Post
    RMB: Poisoned Bolt
    Imbue your next shot with a blood draining poison, reducing healing done on the target by 75% for 4 seconds.
    Cooldown: 11 seconds. Takes 0.5s to activate.
    75% cauterize for 4 seconds? Hirez removed healing from Poison bolts (Skyes RMB) and Fireball (fernandos Q) because it was too OP in the early game (but they moved them to the cards, i suggest you do the same. that is if you create the cards)

    Quote Originally Posted by Sheklon View Post
    F: Bat Form
    Turn into a bat, becoming untargetable and moving freely for 3 seconds, while unable to attack.
    Cooldown: 10 seconds cooldown. Takes 0.8s to activate and cannot move while transforming.
    so you can fly upwards for the 3 seconds when you are turned into a bat?

    Quote Originally Posted by Sheklon View Post
    E: Blood Pact
    Charge through an enemy stealing 40% of their current health and infect them with a blood curse, transfering half of all the healing they'd take to you instead and receiving 100% of all the damage they take as healing to yourself for 3 seconds.
    will this healing be affected by Cauterize?

    Quote Originally Posted by Sheklon View Post
    Blood Thirst
    (Vampiric Thrust)
    You gain 40% more effectiveness with your thrust after using your ultimate which is only reset when you die and the ultimate charges 15% faster.
    your ultimate is active till you die, or you can't activate your ult more than once per life?

    Quote Originally Posted by Sheklon View Post
    Haunting Poison
    (Poisoned Bolt)
    Killing a poisoned target increases your healing received by 75% for 2.5 seconds.
    maybe decrease this to 40% because Thomaz is a flank.
    i miss the old Andro, Lex and Buck

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    Beta Player Grand Prince Harlequin98's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JohnOfAllTrades View Post
    It all happened when the Colossal Vampire kicked down the gate and vampires filled the city. Thomaz and his sister had to watch as the Smiling Vampire killed their mother (who was trapped under a beam of their fallen house). Then after he ends up finding out he is a vampire shifter he uses his new power to take on all vampires while constantly screaming about how much he hates vampires.
    Attack on Titans.. Damn, what a reference.
    Last edited by Harlequin98; 09-06-2017 at 10:15 AM.
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    Beta Player Sovereign Prince PWNDdotcom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JohnOfAllTrades View Post
    It all happened when the Colossal Vampire kicked down the gate and vampires filled the city. Thomaz and his sister had to watch as the Smiling Vampire killed their mother (who was trapped under a beam of their fallen house). Then after he ends up finding out he is a vampire shifter he uses his new power to take on all vampires while constantly screaming about how much he hates vampires.
    I would've never seen that connection on my own. That's actually hilarious.

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    Beta Player Grand Prince Harlequin98's Avatar
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    Alright, time for feedback. This is a decent concept, but I'd honestly expected something better than this. First, the RMB is somewhat mediocre, as it only modifies the LMB. Also, the F feels too much like Zhin's Billow, and the 0.8 seconds of inactivity just seems downright pointless.
    Congratulations, you've noticed my post.
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    The Magistrate needs you!
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    Beta Player Marquess JohnOfAllTrades's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PWNDdotcom View Post
    I would've never seen that connection on my own. That's actually hilarious.
    This is the 'proper' application of my 'creative' mind....

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    Beta Player Marquess JohnOfAllTrades's Avatar
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    I guess I should do a review too.

    LMB - Its.... Alright. On one hand he has a slow fire speed and would probably feel a little clunky to use. On the other hand he has a pretty significant amount of Lifesteal built into his kit. I will say that at its core, a single shot weapon would make Deft Hands fun to use on someone who isn't Mal Damba. That just leads to another issue though... With Deft Hands 3 his DPS trashes pretty much anyone that isn't Viktor or Tyra (with the right cards selected).

    RMB - Boring and overpowered. You'd never need Cauterize on this dude. Which leaves you to cheese with the DPS you get from Deft Hands.

    Q - I'm not sure how I feel about this. Its pretty much just 400 damage with 100% lifesteal.... It's description sounds boring but I can't help but like what I'm seeing when I imagine it being used in game.

    F - Yeah that's pretty much just Zhin's Billow or Grohk's Ghost Walk but with a delay.

    E - Its pretty much the opposite of how I feel about the Q. The description sounds nice at first but then when I imagine using it in game it just feels.. bland. It's not a bad ability though but it and the RMB makes this dude the ultimate counter to healing. You seriously need a new RMB.


    Blood Thirst - What do you mean when you say "40% effectiveness"?

    Quick Hunting - I like the idea of the card but it needs a new name in my opinion.

    Haunting Poison - This is a meh card and it too needs a new name.

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    Beta Player Grand Prince Rauyne's Avatar
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    LMB:I'm not a fan of Life Steal built into the kit on a Basic Attack, but that's just me. On the other hand the RoF and Reload speed makes it somewhat okay and somewhat justifiable.

    RMB:This is okay too. Though 4 seconds seems a bit too long of a duration.

    Q:Is the mist just an added effect or do you become immune and or have higher damage resistance? Also, it seems a bit Overpowered since you can heal for 800 while dealing 800 damage.

    F:Standard movement ability nothing special here

    E:This is too personal of an Ultimate, it only benefits yourself and wouldn't help much in a teamfight.

    Blood Thirst:The wording is confusing here. 40% Effectiveness is more damage and more healing? Or is the travel distance further?

    Quick Hunting:So, basically a Cassie with less DPS?

    Haunting Poison:It's okay, but it would not be used.

    All in all you have some skills that I don't typically agree with. A basic attack with 20% Life Steal is in my honest opinion..ridiculous. Only one Legendary is useful and it's identical to a Champion we already have so it would be like playing the same Champion with minor differences.
    Rauyne's Champion Concept Thread

    Rauyne's Champion Concept Request

    #NerfDamage
    #IncreaseTTK

    #HelpYourSupports

  10. #10
    Beta Player Sovereign Prince Sheklon's Avatar
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    First of all, sorry for some things being a bit OP or somewhat wrong, I was a bit sleepy when I wrote this and I didn't review my own work properly. I shall make some changes right after writing this comment.
    Quote Originally Posted by Paavis1999 View Post
    what is the projectile speed?
    75% cauterize for 4 seconds? Hirez removed healing from Poison bolts (Skyes RMB) and Fireball (fernandos Q) because it was too OP in the early game (but they moved them to the cards, i suggest you do the same. that is if you create the cards)
    so you can fly upwards for the 3 seconds when you are turned into a bat?
    will this healing be affected by Cauterize?
    your ultimate is active till you die, or you can't activate your ult more than once per life?
    maybe decrease this to 40% because Thomaz is a flank.
    - I forgot that, but I believe that having about the same projectile speed and size of cassie's LMB would be ok.
    - Well, the skill has a long cooldown and I imagined that having a cauterize skill would stimulate the use of Deft Hands which could be very useful for this character. But I will nerf that to Caut 2 level and maybe make the ability more useful.
    - Yes, you can move freely for 3 seconds to whatever direction you want.
    - The healing is Cauterized as usual, so this should be a very situational ultimate. But you still have a strong life-stealing kit and if you have Cauterize yourself this ult is essentially negating all the healing on one player. But as everyone mentione something about this ultimate and the RMB, I shall rebalance/change them.
    - Yeah, I will nerf that.

    Quote Originally Posted by JohnOfAllTrades View Post
    It all happened when the Colossal Vampire kicked down the gate and vampires filled the city. Thomaz and his sister had to watch as the Smiling Vampire killed their mother (who was trapped under a beam of their fallen house). Then after he ends up finding out he is a vampire shifter he uses his new power to take on all vampires while constantly screaming about how much he hates vampires.
    Quote Originally Posted by PWNDdotcom View Post
    I would've never seen that connection on my own. That's actually hilarious.
    Quote Originally Posted by Harlequin98 View Post
    Attack on Titans.. Damn, what a reference.
    Lmao I didn't notice it either. I guess the lore is quite cliche indeed but I'm not very good at it yet.

    Quote Originally Posted by JohnOfAllTrades View Post
    I guess I should do a review too.

    LMB - Its.... Alright. On one hand he has a slow fire speed and would probably feel a little clunky to use. On the other hand he has a pretty significant amount of Lifesteal built into his kit. I will say that at its core, a single shot weapon would make Deft Hands fun to use on someone who isn't Mal Damba. That just leads to another issue though... With Deft Hands 3 his DPS trashes pretty much anyone that isn't Viktor or Tyra (with the right cards selected).

    RMB - Boring and overpowered. You'd never need Cauterize on this dude. Which leaves you to cheese with the DPS you get from Deft Hands.

    Q - I'm not sure how I feel about this. Its pretty much just 400 damage with 100% lifesteal.... It's description sounds boring but I can't help but like what I'm seeing when I imagine it being used in game.

    F - Yeah that's pretty much just Zhin's Billow or Grohk's Ghost Walk but with a delay.

    E - Its pretty much the opposite of how I feel about the Q. The description sounds nice at first but then when I imagine using it in game it just feels.. bland. It's not a bad ability though but it and the RMB makes this dude the ultimate counter to healing. You seriously need a new RMB.


    Blood Thirst - What do you mean when you say "40% effectiveness"?

    Quick Hunting - I like the idea of the card but it needs a new name in my opinion.

    Haunting Poison - This is a meh card and it too needs a new name.
    I actually meant 40% stronger damage/life-stealing but not longer range. I'll update the descriptions to be more clear. And yeah, "Haunting Poison" is a stupid name, I was just out of ideias at the moment.

    Quote Originally Posted by Rauyne View Post
    LMB:I'm not a fan of Life Steal built into the kit on a Basic Attack, but that's just me. On the other hand the RoF and Reload speed makes it somewhat okay and somewhat justifiable.

    RMB:This is okay too. Though 4 seconds seems a bit too long of a duration.

    Q:Is the mist just an added effect or do you become immune and or have higher damage resistance? Also, it seems a bit Overpowered since you can heal for 800 while dealing 800 damage.

    F:Standard movement ability nothing special here

    E:This is too personal of an Ultimate, it only benefits yourself and wouldn't help much in a teamfight.

    Blood Thirst:The wording is confusing here. 40% Effectiveness is more damage and more healing? Or is the travel distance further?

    Quick Hunting:So, basically a Cassie with less DPS?

    Haunting Poison:It's okay, but it would not be used.

    All in all you have some skills that I don't typically agree with. A basic attack with 20% Life Steal is in my honest opinion..ridiculous. Only one Legendary is useful and it's identical to a Champion we already have so it would be like playing the same Champion with minor differences.
    My main goal was to create a life-stealing based champion with a low health pool to compensate and changing that would require me to change most of his kit. But I am taking your opinions into consideration, you gave good feedback.
    Edit: Oh, and you got the F skill right, it is really just a standard movement skill that I added for some vertical mobility. Also, the mist from the Q is just a visual effect.

    Thank you all for the reviews.
    Last edited by Sheklon; 09-06-2017 at 08:15 PM.

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