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Thread: Thomaz, the Cursed Hunter

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    Member Viscount Sheklon's Avatar
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    Thomaz, the Cursed Hunter

    Thomaz used to be a vampire hunter trained by his father ever since his mother was killed by a vampire, which made Thomaz wish for revenge against all those creatures. One day in his vampire hunting, he was caught by a vampiric sect who turned him into one of them himself, one of the things he most hated. After that, Thomaz became a morose man that wander around trying to find a new goal for his life. Usually he wont look for fights but when he walks into trouble, he has no mercy with anyone who gets in his way.

    Thomaz wears a long black leather robe, has a belt in which he carries some poisons, a crossbow in which his own soul was trapped when he was turned and a steel gauntlet with claws. He has a medium size brown hair, shiny red eyes and a pale skin.

    Stats:

    Health: 2000
    Role: Flank
    Speed: 370 (slighty slower than Cassie)

    Abilities:

    LMB: Haunted Crossbow
    Shoots a blood-sucking bolt that deals 800 damage and steals 20% of it as health. Has 1 ammo and reloads for 1.05 second after every shot.
    - Projectile speed of 650.

    RMB: Blood Draining
    Take a poisoned knife off your belt and throw it, stealing 20% of all the healing done on the target for 3 seconds.
    Cooldown: 10 seconds. Takes 0.5s to activate.

    Q: Vampiric Thrust
    Involve yourself in a dark mist and advance, attacking through enemies with your claws, dealing 450 damage and stealing half of it as health from up to 3 enemies hit.
    Cooldown: 9 seconds.

    F: Bat Form
    Turn into a bat, becoming untargetable and moving freely for 3 seconds, whilst unable to attack.
    Cooldown: 12 seconds cooldown.

    E: Blood Pact
    Charge through an enemy stealing 25% of their current health and infect them with a blood curse, transfering half of all the healing they'd take to you instead and receiving 100% of all the damage they take as healing to yourself and to nearby allies for 3 seconds.

    Legendaries:

    Uncommon Friend
    (Vampiric Thrust)
    Half of all the healing you receive with your thrust is also done to nearby allies and you gain 30% more damage and lifesteal with it after using your ultimate. This effect resets only upon death and the ultimate charges 15% faster.

    Fate of the Prey
    (Bat Form)
    When in Bat Form, you summon little bats around you that deal 200 damage every second to nearby enemies and you receive 75% damage reduction for 1 second after the effect ends.

    Blood Thirst
    (Blood Draining)
    Killing a poisoned target increases your all of your healing received by 40% and your movement speed by 20% for 3.5 seconds.
    Last edited by Sheklon; 11-12-2017 at 07:04 PM.

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    Member Marquess JohnOfAllTrades's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sheklon View Post
    his mother was killed by a vampire, which made Thomaz wish for revenge against all those creatures. One day in his vampire hunting, he was caught by a vampiric sect who turned him into one of them himself, one of the things he most hated.
    It all happened when the Colossal Vampire kicked down the gate and vampires filled the city. Thomaz and his sister had to watch as the Smiling Vampire killed their mother (who was trapped under a beam of their fallen house). Then after he ends up finding out he is a vampire shifter he uses his new power to take on all vampires while constantly screaming about how much he hates vampires.

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    Member Baronet
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sheklon View Post
    LMB: Haunted Crossbow
    Shoots a blood-sucking bolt that deals 850 damage and steals 20% of it as health. Has 1 ammo and reloads for 1.1s every shot.
    what is the projectile speed?

    Quote Originally Posted by Sheklon View Post
    RMB: Poisoned Bolt
    Imbue your next shot with a blood draining poison, reducing healing done on the target by 75% for 4 seconds.
    Cooldown: 11 seconds. Takes 0.5s to activate.
    75% cauterize for 4 seconds? Hirez removed healing from Poison bolts (Skyes RMB) and Fireball (fernandos Q) because it was too OP in the early game (but they moved them to the cards, i suggest you do the same. that is if you create the cards)

    Quote Originally Posted by Sheklon View Post
    F: Bat Form
    Turn into a bat, becoming untargetable and moving freely for 3 seconds, while unable to attack.
    Cooldown: 10 seconds cooldown. Takes 0.8s to activate and cannot move while transforming.
    so you can fly upwards for the 3 seconds when you are turned into a bat?

    Quote Originally Posted by Sheklon View Post
    E: Blood Pact
    Charge through an enemy stealing 40% of their current health and infect them with a blood curse, transfering half of all the healing they'd take to you instead and receiving 100% of all the damage they take as healing to yourself for 3 seconds.
    will this healing be affected by Cauterize?

    Quote Originally Posted by Sheklon View Post
    Blood Thirst
    (Vampiric Thrust)
    You gain 40% more effectiveness with your thrust after using your ultimate which is only reset when you die and the ultimate charges 15% faster.
    your ultimate is active till you die, or you can't activate your ult more than once per life?

    Quote Originally Posted by Sheklon View Post
    Haunting Poison
    (Poisoned Bolt)
    Killing a poisoned target increases your healing received by 75% for 2.5 seconds.
    maybe decrease this to 40% because Thomaz is a flank.
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    Member Sovereign Prince Harlequin98's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JohnOfAllTrades View Post
    It all happened when the Colossal Vampire kicked down the gate and vampires filled the city. Thomaz and his sister had to watch as the Smiling Vampire killed their mother (who was trapped under a beam of their fallen house). Then after he ends up finding out he is a vampire shifter he uses his new power to take on all vampires while constantly screaming about how much he hates vampires.
    Attack on Titans.. Damn, what a reference.
    Last edited by Harlequin98; 09-06-2017 at 11:15 AM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by JohnOfAllTrades View Post
    It all happened when the Colossal Vampire kicked down the gate and vampires filled the city. Thomaz and his sister had to watch as the Smiling Vampire killed their mother (who was trapped under a beam of their fallen house). Then after he ends up finding out he is a vampire shifter he uses his new power to take on all vampires while constantly screaming about how much he hates vampires.
    I would've never seen that connection on my own. That's actually hilarious.

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    Member Sovereign Prince Harlequin98's Avatar
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    Alright, time for feedback. This is a decent concept, but I'd honestly expected something better than this. First, the RMB is somewhat mediocre, as it only modifies the LMB. Also, the F feels too much like Zhin's Billow, and the 0.8 seconds of inactivity just seems downright pointless.
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    Quote Originally Posted by PWNDdotcom View Post
    I would've never seen that connection on my own. That's actually hilarious.
    This is the 'proper' application of my 'creative' mind....

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    Member Marquess JohnOfAllTrades's Avatar
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    I guess I should do a review too.

    LMB - Its.... Alright. On one hand he has a slow fire speed and would probably feel a little clunky to use. On the other hand he has a pretty significant amount of Lifesteal built into his kit. I will say that at its core, a single shot weapon would make Deft Hands fun to use on someone who isn't Mal Damba. That just leads to another issue though... With Deft Hands 3 his DPS trashes pretty much anyone that isn't Viktor or Tyra (with the right cards selected).

    RMB - Boring and overpowered. You'd never need Cauterize on this dude. Which leaves you to cheese with the DPS you get from Deft Hands.

    Q - I'm not sure how I feel about this. Its pretty much just 400 damage with 100% lifesteal.... It's description sounds boring but I can't help but like what I'm seeing when I imagine it being used in game.

    F - Yeah that's pretty much just Zhin's Billow or Grohk's Ghost Walk but with a delay.

    E - Its pretty much the opposite of how I feel about the Q. The description sounds nice at first but then when I imagine using it in game it just feels.. bland. It's not a bad ability though but it and the RMB makes this dude the ultimate counter to healing. You seriously need a new RMB.


    Blood Thirst - What do you mean when you say "40% effectiveness"?

    Quick Hunting - I like the idea of the card but it needs a new name in my opinion.

    Haunting Poison - This is a meh card and it too needs a new name.

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    Member Sovereign Prince Rauyne's Avatar
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    LMB:I'm not a fan of Life Steal built into the kit on a Basic Attack, but that's just me. On the other hand the RoF and Reload speed makes it somewhat okay and somewhat justifiable.

    RMB:This is okay too. Though 4 seconds seems a bit too long of a duration.

    Q:Is the mist just an added effect or do you become immune and or have higher damage resistance? Also, it seems a bit Overpowered since you can heal for 800 while dealing 800 damage.

    F:Standard movement ability nothing special here

    E:This is too personal of an Ultimate, it only benefits yourself and wouldn't help much in a teamfight.

    Blood Thirst:The wording is confusing here. 40% Effectiveness is more damage and more healing? Or is the travel distance further?

    Quick Hunting:So, basically a Cassie with less DPS?

    Haunting Poison:It's okay, but it would not be used.

    All in all you have some skills that I don't typically agree with. A basic attack with 20% Life Steal is in my honest opinion..ridiculous. Only one Legendary is useful and it's identical to a Champion we already have so it would be like playing the same Champion with minor differences.

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    Member Viscount Sheklon's Avatar
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    First of all, sorry for some things being a bit OP or somewhat wrong, I was a bit sleepy when I wrote this and I didn't review my own work properly. I shall make some changes right after writing this comment.
    Quote Originally Posted by Paavis1999 View Post
    what is the projectile speed?
    75% cauterize for 4 seconds? Hirez removed healing from Poison bolts (Skyes RMB) and Fireball (fernandos Q) because it was too OP in the early game (but they moved them to the cards, i suggest you do the same. that is if you create the cards)
    so you can fly upwards for the 3 seconds when you are turned into a bat?
    will this healing be affected by Cauterize?
    your ultimate is active till you die, or you can't activate your ult more than once per life?
    maybe decrease this to 40% because Thomaz is a flank.
    - I forgot that, but I believe that having about the same projectile speed and size of cassie's LMB would be ok.
    - Well, the skill has a long cooldown and I imagined that having a cauterize skill would stimulate the use of Deft Hands which could be very useful for this character. But I will nerf that to Caut 2 level and maybe make the ability more useful.
    - Yes, you can move freely for 3 seconds to whatever direction you want.
    - The healing is Cauterized as usual, so this should be a very situational ultimate. But you still have a strong life-stealing kit and if you have Cauterize yourself this ult is essentially negating all the healing on one player. But as everyone mentione something about this ultimate and the RMB, I shall rebalance/change them.
    - Yeah, I will nerf that.

    Quote Originally Posted by JohnOfAllTrades View Post
    It all happened when the Colossal Vampire kicked down the gate and vampires filled the city. Thomaz and his sister had to watch as the Smiling Vampire killed their mother (who was trapped under a beam of their fallen house). Then after he ends up finding out he is a vampire shifter he uses his new power to take on all vampires while constantly screaming about how much he hates vampires.
    Quote Originally Posted by PWNDdotcom View Post
    I would've never seen that connection on my own. That's actually hilarious.
    Quote Originally Posted by Harlequin98 View Post
    Attack on Titans.. Damn, what a reference.
    Lmao I didn't notice it either. I guess the lore is quite cliche indeed but I'm not very good at it yet.

    Quote Originally Posted by JohnOfAllTrades View Post
    I guess I should do a review too.

    LMB - Its.... Alright. On one hand he has a slow fire speed and would probably feel a little clunky to use. On the other hand he has a pretty significant amount of Lifesteal built into his kit. I will say that at its core, a single shot weapon would make Deft Hands fun to use on someone who isn't Mal Damba. That just leads to another issue though... With Deft Hands 3 his DPS trashes pretty much anyone that isn't Viktor or Tyra (with the right cards selected).

    RMB - Boring and overpowered. You'd never need Cauterize on this dude. Which leaves you to cheese with the DPS you get from Deft Hands.

    Q - I'm not sure how I feel about this. Its pretty much just 400 damage with 100% lifesteal.... It's description sounds boring but I can't help but like what I'm seeing when I imagine it being used in game.

    F - Yeah that's pretty much just Zhin's Billow or Grohk's Ghost Walk but with a delay.

    E - Its pretty much the opposite of how I feel about the Q. The description sounds nice at first but then when I imagine using it in game it just feels.. bland. It's not a bad ability though but it and the RMB makes this dude the ultimate counter to healing. You seriously need a new RMB.


    Blood Thirst - What do you mean when you say "40% effectiveness"?

    Quick Hunting - I like the idea of the card but it needs a new name in my opinion.

    Haunting Poison - This is a meh card and it too needs a new name.
    I actually meant 40% stronger damage/life-stealing but not longer range. I'll update the descriptions to be more clear. And yeah, "Haunting Poison" is a stupid name, I was just out of ideias at the moment.

    Quote Originally Posted by Rauyne View Post
    LMB:I'm not a fan of Life Steal built into the kit on a Basic Attack, but that's just me. On the other hand the RoF and Reload speed makes it somewhat okay and somewhat justifiable.

    RMB:This is okay too. Though 4 seconds seems a bit too long of a duration.

    Q:Is the mist just an added effect or do you become immune and or have higher damage resistance? Also, it seems a bit Overpowered since you can heal for 800 while dealing 800 damage.

    F:Standard movement ability nothing special here

    E:This is too personal of an Ultimate, it only benefits yourself and wouldn't help much in a teamfight.

    Blood Thirst:The wording is confusing here. 40% Effectiveness is more damage and more healing? Or is the travel distance further?

    Quick Hunting:So, basically a Cassie with less DPS?

    Haunting Poison:It's okay, but it would not be used.

    All in all you have some skills that I don't typically agree with. A basic attack with 20% Life Steal is in my honest opinion..ridiculous. Only one Legendary is useful and it's identical to a Champion we already have so it would be like playing the same Champion with minor differences.
    My main goal was to create a life-stealing based champion with a low health pool to compensate and changing that would require me to change most of his kit. But I am taking your opinions into consideration, you gave good feedback.
    Edit: Oh, and you got the F skill right, it is really just a standard movement skill that I added for some vertical mobility. Also, the mist from the Q is just a visual effect.

    Thank you all for the reviews.
    Last edited by Sheklon; 09-06-2017 at 09:15 PM.
    Champion Concepts:
    Damage
    Erik, Lucie
    Flank
    Thomaz
    Frontline
    Bork
    Support
    Nameless, Annie

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